Just added a year of life's experience, its really the coldest birthday I had ever had, it really feels lonely here. Nothing to smile about except the fall colors to cheer up missing all my loved ones back home, sometimes I feel I don't like it here(infact any where away from home)....
The other day I was returning back from the bus I broke within my heart, I knew I was a little more capable of getting into a better school, all my friends I have studied are now in better schools and me at UCONN making that hasty desicion to move from UCR....
I could certainly feel that I have a really hard luck, I don't know I think I have a nac for the SELF PITY for myself...first time in my life I feel I need to compromise, really I feel very low every day dont know why. May be I'am missing people very much, more than I could ever think of...mom told me to come back to india if I dont feel good here....you know at the same time I feel that by doing that I'am running away from the problem, ok now I'am in the problem a big complex problem the only way I can overcome this just by solving it....I say to myself I'AM TRANSFORMING TO MYSELF TO ATTAIN STRENGTH AND ENERGY TO SOLVE PROBLEMS....God please give me STRENGTH to face this problem. I know that I'am not a genius to come up with some idea to create a revolution but I'am trying sincerely...I don't do things to impress any one...
I don't feel any selfish any more the other day I was thinking about the change in me, I don't know I started feeling happiness in others happiness, sometimes I just did things that people are happy, although I don't expect anything from them.....
What ever it might be its really a rocky ride ahead of me....
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