Well I always had that guilty feeling in me every time I told everyone that I'am going to california and study. Every one thought that its some how great to belong to california, well pheadrus in me was I guess taking a break...started to enjoy the material pleasures and forgot about his journey which is the quest of quality. Yes indeed I wanted to cash on the name of UC .
Although I couldnt blame the professor for bringing me this far I need to blame myself. I know I want to do more fundamental things rather then jumping in something which I claimed to know, I told people that I had been working in a mixed signal simulation tool development. The word DEVELOPMENT here meant a different thing, I never really wrote anything core, what I was doing was just doing all system realted work to make the tool work. Well I guess I was somewhat doing well in what ever I had done. When I got admission at UCR with this background I started feeling guilty, I want to make up for it by looking into books on how fastspice was implemented, although I had a very high level of understanding on how fastspice worked I thought I could make it and decided to come to riverside. But when I talked to the professor I felt bad that he want to make use only programming skills which I had, he never expected me to design new algorithms, create new paradigms to revolutionize the research. Just at this moment I decided to leave this place RIVERSIDE. I CANNOT JUST DO SOMETHING JUST TO BELONG TO A UC AND BELONG TO CALIFORNIA AND TELL THAT PROUDLY FOR ALL THE PEOPLE OVER THAT WORLD...........I THOUGHT I'AM CHEATING MYSELF I CANNOT TAKE IT I DECIDED TO MOVE TO UCONN.
I know Dr.Raj was a great prof but people dont want me to go there when I said I got admit in a UC, well now I really dont give a damn shit on which university I belong I want to really learn the ART OF ALGORITHM DESIGN and apply in much more elegant manner with more CS pedagogy.....I FELT IF I COULD MASTER THE ART OF SOLVING PROBLEMS WITH A COMPUTER.....IT DOESNT KEEP MYSELF JUST TO CAD I CAN APPLY MY ALGORITHM DESIGN SKILLS TO ANY PROBLEM....I'AM EXCITED TO WORK UNDER DR.RAJ....
Well this is excatly what happens in pheadrus's book.......BUT I ADMIRE MY GUTS TO NOT TO CHEAT MYSELF EVEN TILL THE LAST MINUTE....ITS NEVER TO LATE TO GET IT BACK....,,,,,,NOW I NEED TO LIE SAYING SOMETHING TO THE OLD PROF AND MAKE SURE THE BRIDGES ARE NOT BURNT......
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